Light Shines on Primitive Burial Customs of Piedmont

BREAKING--Piedmont's gruesome practice of entombing its dead in the living rooms and entryways of its outwardly pristine and inwardly decrepit homes has finally broken through to mainstream media outlets such as the Associated Press, the S.F. Examiner, the Chronicle, and the Bay Area's CBS5.

The Chronicle headline: "Old corpse turns up in Piedmont home." ABC7: "Woman found mummified in Piedmont."

The Examiner reports that "(a)lthough police have not confirmed the woman's identity, she is believed to be Patricia Bostrom, the owner of the home, whom neighbors said they had not seen in up to five years." You'll note here that the Piedmontese---"the neighbors"--seem to be enforcing a collective silence around the matter.

"[Piedmont police Capt. John Hunt] said the home had not been well-maintained, pointing to rust and paint peeling off the chimney. However, the lawn and landscaping appeared to be trimmed."



The lawn and landscaping "appear" to be trimmed? As is true with all else concerning Piedmont, even basic descriptive facts are ontologically suspect.

Go here for the full S.F. Chronicle article, which naively participates in the official Piedmont version of events--that this instance of suburban entombment is isolated and not, in fact, a part of a larger pattern of primitive burial traditions widely practiced in Piedmont.